"You never know just how you look through other people's eyes..."
~ From the song "Pepper" by the Butthole Surfers
One thing I have always wanted to do is know exactly how other people see me. What am I to them? How do they feel about me...really? Looking at the story below, I'm wondering if it's actually a good thing that I don't know this.
Five-year-old Alex Barton of Port St. Lucie, Florida, USA got a rather harsh chance to see himself through the eyes of others last week when his teacher got all of the students in her classroom to tell Alex what they didn't like about him and then they all got to vote on whether he could stay in the class or not. He was voted out by a margin of 14 to 2. Some of the words used to describe him by the other kids were "disgusting" and "annoying". He spent the rest of the day in the nurse's office waiting for his mother to come and pick him up from the school. He won't go back there without screaming and fighting now. He is appearently reliving the incident, according to his mother; a sign of PTSD. Alex is currently in the process of being diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome.
The school district is investigating this and the State Attorney's office has dropped the case stating this doesn't meet the criteria for emotional child abuse. Where I come from, this behaviour is most definitely abusive. What does one have to do to meet the criteria for emotional child abuse in Florida? A heck of a lot worse than what this woman did, apparently. Police are also no longer investigating this.
Unfortunately, the damage is done. As any child who has ever been bullied can tell you, this is something that will be with him for the rest of his life. Perhaps some astute therapist will be able to dig this out and help him work through it when he hits adulthood.
This ordeal was put upon him as a punishment by the teacher since he has some disciplinary problems due to being on the autistic spectrum. If a child of any sort is disruptive in class, is this the appropriate way for a teacher (read: university trained professional) to handle it? I'd think not.
Many of the parents I talk to say they put their autistic children into school because they feel that school is the best place to learn social skills.
Really? Social skills seems to be a big priority for people when it comes to educating autistic kids. Are these the kind of social skills that NT's have that are so needed by autistic children? Is this what they need to learn?
That's why my parents sent me to regular school. I got basically the same education as many of us on the spectrum get in conventional schools: that people are pack animals, that they are cruel and will always try to destroy that which is different from the accepted "norm".
Not many of us on the spectrum leave the school system with the silly notions that people are inherently good, that we have a positive place in the world and that we are deserving of love, happiness, success and friendship. (Yes, I am being sarcastic)
What has young Alex learned about social skills here? What has he learned about people? How do you think he might interpret this little "lesson in appropriate social skills"? How might this incident influence his future behaviour? Things learned at the age of 5 last for a long time!
Worse still: What have all of the NT children in that classroom learned from this??? That it is OK to behave this way against someone who has less of an advantage because he is different? That it is ok to emotionally tear a person apart like this when he has no one to stand up for him? How is this going to influence their behaviour in the future. Things learned at the age of 5 last for a long time!
They are learning to be bullies is what they are learning. My third grade teacher taught the kids in my classhow to bully me by calling me insulting names in front of everyone. People still called me those names well into high school.
I tried to leave a comment, but my PC at work is not java enabled, so I cannot post to the site:
I'm a 33 year old woman on the autistic spectrum (Diagnosed at 2) who went to mainstream school in Canada and got treated like this by teachers and other students on a regular basis. I recall my thrid grade teacher calling me all sorts of names in front of the other kids - names which followed me all through my school years, right up into high school. You see, these children learned that it was ok to call me these things. After all, the teacher (authority figure) did it, right?
I was held down and spit on for 30 minutes by these same kids when I was in 3rd grade. I was beaten over the head with a stick by a group of these same kids in 10th grade. This was my life every day at school.
For the first 3 years of school, I was struggling to adjust to fitting in and had my moments. This type of bullying did not help me learn how to behave nicely - it only taught me how to survive and how to fight. Disruption on my part was not common at school unless I was severely distressed. (It did happen once in awhile - I was not perfect!) Usually, I was able to save my meltdowns for when I got home and got to my room. Now, I'm happily married, I own my own house, drive, have been working since I was 13 and am pursuing a degree in psychology. I pay my dues to society every day through my paid work and my volunteer work.
For those who think autistics are retarded, I could read far better than any of the other children (I was reading novels at 3) and have an IQ of 134. (Mental retardation is loosely defined as being an IQ under 75) This is not to say that *all* autistics have IQ's this high or have the abilities that I do. I'm pretty lucky in that respect.
This sort of thing, when it happens, is a strong influence which affects the future behaviour of *all* children involved: the special needs child and all of the others in that classroom. Teachers have a spacial level of influence as authority figures.
My point: No child, of any level of ability, should ever have to be treated like this at school or anywhere else. No child learns anything positive from situations like this.
This teacher (read: university trained professional) handled this situation unprofessionally and inappropriately in my opinion and I believe she should be reprimanded for that. There are many more appropriate ways to petition to the school board to have an unruly child removed from a classroom.
Just my thoughts...
Here is a page from theschool that features the teachers and their email addresses: http://www.stlucie.k12.fl.us/mse/staff/kindergarten.html
In case they remove the emails, Wendy Portillo's is: portillow@stlucie.k12.fl.us
http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/southflorida/sfl-flpkindergart...
http://tinyurl.com/68ggjn
Mom Says Teacher Let Classmates Vote Son Out of Class
PORT ST. LUCIE - Melissa Barton said she is considering legal action after her son's kindergarten teacher led his classmates to vote him out of class.
After each classmate was allowed to say what they didn't like about Barton's 5-year-old son, Alex, his Morningside Elementary teacher Wendy Portillo said they were going to take a vote, Barton said.
By a 14 to 2 margin, the students voted Alex -- who is in the process of being diagnosed with autism -- out of the class.
Melissa Barton filed a complaint with Morningside's school resource officer, who investigated the matter, Port St. Lucie Department spokeswoman Michelle Steele said. But the state attorney's office concluded the matter did not meet the criteria for emotional child abuse, so no criminal charges will be filed, Steele said. Port St. Lucie Police no longer are investigating, but police officials are documenting the complaint, she said.
Steele said the teacher confirmed the incident took place.
Portillo could not be reached for comment Friday.
Steele said the boy had been sent to the principal's office because of disciplinary issues. When he returned, Portillo made him go to the front of the room as a form of punishment, she said.
Barton said her son is in the process of being diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, a type of high-functioning autism. Alex began the testing process in February at the suggestion of Morningside Principal Marcia Cully.
Children diagnosed with Asperger's often exhibit social isolation and eccentric behavior..
Alex has had disciplinary issues because of his disability, Barton said. After the family moved into the area and Alex and his sibling arrived at the school in January, Alex spent much of the time in the principal's office, she said.
He also had problems at his last school, but he did not have issues during his two years of preschool, Barton said.
School and district officials have met with Barton and her son to create an individual education plan to address his difficulties, she said. Portillo attended these meetings, Barton said.
Barton said after the vote, Portillo asked Alex how he felt.
"He said, 'I feel sad,' " Barton said.
Alex left the classroom and spent the rest of the day in the nurse's office, she said.
Barton said when she came to pick up her son at the school Wednesday, he was leaving the nurse's office.
"He was shaken up," she said.
Barton said the nurse told her to talk with Portillo, who told her what happened.
Alex hasn't been back to school since then, and Barton said he won't be returning. He starts screaming when she brings him with her to drop off his sibling at school.
Thursday night, his mother heard him saying "I'm not special" over and over.
Barton said Alex is reliving the incident.
The other students said he was "disgusting" and "annoying," Barton said.
"He was incredibly upset," Barton said. "The only friend he has ever made in his life was forced to do this."
St. Lucie School's spokeswoman Janice Karst said the district is investigating the incident, but could not make any further comment.
Vern Melvin, Department of Children and Families circuit administrator, confirmed the agency is investigating an allegation of abuse at Morningside but said he could not elaborate.
Here's a link to the school's web page:
http://www.stlucie.k12.fl.us/mse/staff/kindergarten.html
